Every year has it’s highs and it’s lows. Even though I think it’s best to focus on the positive, I believe it’s also important not to forget some of those lows that taught us a lesson, or made us a better person. If they didn’t do either of those things, well then they at least serve to remind us of how glad we are that those times are over.
I had a lot of highs and a lot of lows in 2014, and the highs for me were much bigger and more significant than the lows, although the lows were more significant than in past years.
Here are some of my biggest highs and lows for the year and the lessons I learned:
1) High: I got to go to France twice in 2014 and Croatia once. This is the most international traveling I’ve been able to do in a long while in such a short time. Like most people I’m lucky if I can afford to go abroad even once a year and a lot of years I don’t even get to do that. I went to France with my company for work in January of 2014 (visiting vineyards with our customers), then to Croatia for a long awaited vacation, and then again to France in November after I quit my job and had some time off before starting my Master’s program. I had an absolutely amazing time on all of these trips and they reminded me of just how much I need travel in my life and I resolved to figure out a way to travel like this on a regular basis for the rest of my life.
2) Low: I had a lot of health problems and some depression (which is not typical for me at all) connected to my work life. I felt a huge lack of meaning in what I was doing, and as I was working at a furious pace for more than 60 hours a week every week in a job that was just getting more and more overwhelming. This majorly impacted how stressed, depressed, and panicked I felt. I was a poor version of myself (complaining a lot of the time, being incredibly cynical about pretty much everything and losing my love for things I’ve always been passionate about) and I did not like who I saw in the mirror.
3) High: I made the decision to forge ahead on a path towards a new career. I’ll be working on free-lance writing while traveling in Europe and re-focusing on my marketing and communications skills while gaining new digital marketing skills to prepare for my career change when I return home.
4) High: I got rid of my over-priced rental, my wine cellar and most of my superfluous possessions and bought a ticket to Europe. The intention is to travel slowly and train myself in many of the things I could have chosen to pay a lot of money for in training courses, but will gain much more from by actually doing them myself. This move was huge, as it meant I took action to pursue my dreams/goals vs spending another year wishing I had done something but being too afraid to.
5) Low: I was not a part of any meaningful romantic relationship. I wasn’t in the mindset to handle dating. It wasn’t even appealing, and although normally I still would have put myself out there and socialized and dated, I simply did not have the will to. I realized that this had been the case for the past year as well and that it would continue to be the case unless I changed my situation and focused on getting back to being a happy person.
6) High: I got to spend more time with my little sister (the one who is closest in age) than I have in 10 years because she moved with her husband and family, from Baltimore back to California. It has been amazing getting to hike, grab dinner or lunch, or just hang out and talk face to face anytime we want.
7) High: I let go of a lot of negativity and anger at the end of this past year. See Number 2 on this list. I made the decision to do what was best for me, and immediately started feeling better. It took some time to let go of all of the stress and the unhealthy life (letting negative/toxic people ruin my day/week, etc) I was living in the midst of, but once I made the decision to get out of the situation I was in, I slowly did just this. Let it all go. Removed myself from all of the things that were killing me. By the end of the year, I was waking up with a lot less fear and anxiety.
9) Low: I moved apartments already once in 2014. And I’ll have to move again in the next month. I hate moving. Who doesn’t? It’s expensive, stressful, and unsettling.
10) High: I set goals for myself this past year that I don’t have to wonder if I will achieve. I know I will. I started on my list of goals and have already checked off some of the boxes. It’s an exciting feeling. I will pursue a career change. I will work on my writing and digital skills. I will travel (even if it doesn’t make the most obvious financial sense). I will focus on my personal relationships and my health. Even if I accomplish only these things, I will be satisfied.
It’s been a long road to get to this point, but here I am in 2015. There will likely be problems and setbacks this year, like there are every year. The older I get, the more I realize that life doesn’t get easier. That ‘one day’ when everything is settled down, and there are no big surprises or tragedies, doesn’t exist. I spent a lot of my young life thinking that it did. Now I know that it isn’t life that has to change, it’s me. I have to be able to roll with the punches. Deal with the worst and move on. Look forward to the best.
I’m alive, in good health, with all of my limbs intact, a roof over my head, and food on the table. I have goals set and am confident I can achieve many if not all of them. There is a lot of life to be lived in front of me.
I’m looking forward to a great 2015!